'Aaj Tak' News Channel is so much fun to watch on days when your life reaches heights of monotony and you feel like taking a chill pill by laughing your heart out .There was a breaking news I had come across on 'Aaj Tak ' on one such day that a man had filed a divorce petition for the reason that his wife was not efficient in doing the daily household chores like washing & ironing clothes,cleaning utensils,cleaning the house and you know the list will go on ... For a while I did definitely giggle at this crap but later unintentionally it made me wonder if women after marriage is really evaluated on only such metrics and perhaps this forces every women to crave for their independent stand in life which is not just based on such mundane , no brainer works but also has a substantial worth?
The power of a women is determined by the bundle of confidence she carries ,her positive attitude and approach, her maturity level to handle the most simplest to complicated matters with ease,her emotional maturity to adjust and live up to any situation, her belief in she being able to reach the sky on her own,her trust that she can change the world and rule it etc.
So if I were to put forth it upright – Power Of A Women is Based On Her Financial Independence.If financial independence is there , every other thing will automatically follow and this statement perhaps might go contradictory to my previous blog titled :'Independent Married Women – What Confusion' (http://priyaraveesh.blogspot.nl/2010/12/independent-married-woman-what.html)
However oflate, based on both active and passive experiences, I too somewhere strongly agree with all the married women fraternity that financial independence is the ruling factor or the ultimate rater for being considered independent and successful.
But why is financial independence so very important in a married life when you really got what you had dreamt of – Your Prince charming, White dress, joint accounts etc. Expert say its perfectly fine to create space for your own unaccountable and separate financial status since it brings with it a lot happiness, peace of mind and harmony in a married life and therefore in majority of the cases , the success of marriage solely depended on the sound financial independence of the both the partners.
Financial Independence means a lot of things to lots of married women-
1.Your Opinion Counts , You have a Say ,You are Respected and You Get Involved!
"A woman who has some financial independence is free to state her mind, disagree, ask for what she wants, and a woman who doesn't is not”
When you have the financial independence , you become an active and integral part of all the decision making process in all the significant and not so significant matters at home.This gives the women a sense of confidence and involvement in life. Otherwise it's just the passive involvement wherein you are still made aware of all the happenings but just as an information which is totally fair.When you can't contribute ,just wait and watch!! And eventually when the people around you understand the fact that the decision 's made has to have the say of the wife as well, she is considered important and hence there is more of her involvement . So the concept of male chauvinism completely disappears and if we were to take it in the positive sense- Both husband and wife contribute equally to the equation of a happy married life.
2.Establishes Your Future Security & Nurtures Your Positive Approach Towards Life .
Life is very uncertain and therefore looking out for options for safeguarding oneself ,be it a man or a women,for the future and do what one can when one has the opportunity
is absolutely fair.
When a lady Wants to be financially independent , it does not mean that she has no love or regard for her family, it's just that by fulfilling your ambition ,you are able to live a happier and more fulfilled life when there is equality and freedom for both !This again contributes to the equation of a successful and happy married life.
3.EnhancesYour Confidence Level & Cultivates Your Clear Thought Process
"Financial independence is important in a marriage because it can also mean 'independence of thought,'" says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist in Long Beach, California and author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page Books, 2002).
Independence of thought can be directly related to your bundle of confidence level. You have the margin to think on clear term when you know that you can back up your decision incase it doesn't go in your favor.And therefore financial independence aids in your risk taking ability as in life everything cannot be planned the way you want and to move ahead in life, one needs to take those calculative risks and sometimes major risks.
4.Boosts your Self Esteem ,Pampers Your Self Ego and Satisfy Your Own Priorities.
Self Esteem is taking pride in yourself and Ego is a person's sense of self esteem or in other words self worth.
So if we were to take the term positively ,I would not be wrong if I were to say ,every one of us is egoistic. This factor is increasingly getting highlighted in our generation and this perhaps might be due to a lot many reasons – the long tail of never ending series of degrees against one's name , the high self esteem which brings with it the confidence and belief that sky is not the limit,the considerably rich lifestyle compared to our previous generation and this might go on ...
So to boost up their self esteem and pamper their self ego, a sound financial independence helps the women take a chill pill by not being accountable for every penny they spend unlike our parents where they used to pen down each day expenditure in a notebook .There used to be tensions all over if the domestic balance sheet had even a rupee mismatch.
Even the present day women aims at spending each penny on their family ,for their children but doesn't feel great being accountable.
Convincing people for their simple needs and taking the big 'NO' seems to be the biggest reason affecting one's self ego.This perpetuates more in the case of a husband- wife relationship. The Prince Charming might do his level best trying to satisfy his wife's needs but still the charm of spending your own earned money on things you desire and wish is absolutely out of the world.
Its still agreeable with a women that her husband doesn't mind spending for her ,on things which might rate highest on her priority list but not even feature in the husband's list.
But desires are not always for self. Every women in this world feels immensely happy by being able to buy those little things for her parents and siblings.Not that her parents and siblings would need it or cannot afford one, its just the gesture of being thankful to them for all that they have done which really lifts up the women's spirit.And even though the husband fraternity do really acknowledge this fact and do not mind the same but still this does not go too well. This might be due to two reasons: a) This being extra spending may come under the accountable expense b) The parents of the girl may not want to accept even a penny worth gift due to our so called cultural convictions that husband's earning is only for his parents and more than the husband ,his parents might somewhere make a statement that its all their son's money which is everywhere!Poor our son..Ah..::)
Such instances may go on .....
5.Polishes Your KI ,Matures Up Your EI and Manage Your Relationship Equations.
Elimination of factors which might disrupt the harmony and peace in a married life leads to loads of time to concentrate on relations .The everyday TU Tu Main Main revolving around ' Your Family ' Vs “ My Family' vanishes and this leads to some happy time with all.
Financial independence broadens up your conservative approach and helps you look at life at large.It takes you away from bothering about small things in life and enhances your knowledge by increasing your general awareness about whats going on around the world rather than just your family as a result of you meeting a number of people each day and the n number of conversation you have with them .
With so many good things coming along with a women's sound financial independence ,why would one want to negotiate?Having a separate bank account ,with account balance nobody knows except for you ,that swiping of the ATM card which carries just your name,the leeway to spend the way you would want , is feel which is better felt than expressed. If this is there , its happiness all the way.::)
Reference:
http://www.lhj.com/relationships/marriage/challenges/financially-independent-and-married/
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