Sunday, August 12, 2012

Call Centres and BPO’s – Time to scrap wrong perceptions!


This was the article I had written to be published in the Hindu newspaper in the year 2006 on the wrong perceptions related to Call Centres and BPO's . I found this when I was checking my old mails  so thought will share the same. Though the views expressed here would have now changed exponentially but still it was nice reading it.

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Night shift, strain, health problems, no pride, unsafe environment, no growth, no future, insecurity of the industry, experience not taken into account, total seclusion from the social life, the list can keep going… these are some of the very common perceptions that people have about the call centre industry which is on a fast track these days.

The human body is naturally designed in a way that it can adjust to time zone changes. We go through this phenomenon quite frequently when we travel from one continent to another. You start travelling in the day and stay in the air for almost 24 hours but still find the destination time to be in the day. The change in the body clock does take time, but for sure it gets adjusted in a couple of days. Same is the perception about loosing sleep when someone joins a BPO or a call centre. An individual looses sleep for the initial couple of days till his body undergoes time clock transformation. Slowly but steadily the life becomes normal as for any other individual who works during the day. All the over exageration that people say they go through working in the night is painful, is however overpowered by the charm of the various aspects of the industry itself. The pain of night shift is just a mental block.

The day has 24 hours and the individual whether he works in the day or night spends a total of max 11 hours outside his residence working which is inclusive of the travel time. The individual clearly has another 13 hours at his disposal. It is a proven fact that if a human body gets a 7 hours of sleep, it can function as normal as it can be. The individual is still left with a solid 6 hours at his disposal for his social life which for sure can be spent in the time zone 3 PM to 9 PM in the night. Apart from this he also gets 2 paid workings days as weekly off’s. Anything more than this is abosolutely unreasonable with the amount of other benefits that the individual gets. This is again all about the mental block that one has about this industry.

The size of the Indian BPO market is likely to be around $9-12 billion by 2006 and the business process outsourcing (BPO) industry in the country is expected to employ around one million people by 2008, ICRA said in its Indian BPO industry report. Also according to recent reports, the BPO market for information technology in India is all set to grow from the current $1.3 billion to over $8 billion by 2010. Though the market was tough and was under a high-pressure scenario, the industry was still able to garner 2% of the global market in financial year 2002-03. According to Nasscom estimates, Revenues generated by the BPO industry grew 59.1% to reach Rs 11,300 crore in 2002-03. This for sure is not an industry, which can be insecured or has a risk a high business fluctuation. This probably is one of the industry which is here to stay for ever till the time business has needs and wants high profitability which is only possible by outsourcing. I think one should really be proud of being associated with the industry which has grown faster than any other industry.

This tremendous growth of this industry clearly shows the success it has had in the last decade or so. I am sure an industry cannot succeed if it has all of its employees either sick or stressed out and also that this success has been consistent and not transitory. The growth has been an a constant upward trend. There are many anti outsourcing bills passed in the US, but again these are only governmental outsourcing which is less then 5% of the actual potential. We all remember that in mid 1900 when the manufacturing industry slowly started moving out of US, there was the same hue and cry and there were bills passed to stop it, but virtually was not possible. After all it is all about low investment and high profitability.


All of us go through a very tiring day’s start, as we have to travel long distances in jam-packed buses or trains. No industry offers you a pick up and drop at your doorstep unless you are at an executive level, but this industry offers this facility even to an entry level position, infact some of the call centers even have air conditioned cabs. This is a big boon looking at the heavy rush, body pain, pocket theft and the high amount of time consumption while travelling in a bus or a train. This pick up and drop facility removes the strain and the stress from the picture and it also gives a secured passage for the individual to the office.

All BPO companies provide food in-house. Some companies serve food free of cost, while others subsidize the food by 50%. According to estimates, the average spend per person per day on food comes to about Rs 60-70 and most BPO companies have arrangements for three meals a day. Apart from this many companies in this industry provides 24 hrs medical facilities with a doctor and nurse in attendance, gyms and also 24-hour health food café. What more can one ask for in a work environment? Every individual is convered by either Family Health plan for himself and other members of the family or is covered under Company’s group health Insurance.

Coming to very vital part of any one’s life – The career & growth that for sure needs to be spoken about here. Generally someone needs atleast a couple of years experience to grow from one level to the next level or have a salary jump of 5000 bucks or more. But here in the call centre world an individual jumps from a Customer service executive or an associate level to a supervisor in six months with a salary jump in excess of 5000 bucks.

Money is not the primary driver in a call centre, there are other aspects of association too which really matters. You get to work with fortune companies around the world, get to know their business, cultures, geographies and economies. No industry gives you the opportunity to travel overseas as frequently as this industry due to the type of work involved. Working with overseas clients gives you that international edge over others in your resume. This is the only industry which teaches you language which is an essential ingredient in a business environment, often missed out as an accessory by other industries. One also gets to learn business knowledge from difference lines of business, be it Insurance, Healthcare, Banking, Finanacial Services, IT, Services, Hospitality also get to learn effective Project management, people management, Quality tools – ISO, COPC, Six Sigma etc, analytics, finance, administration and so on. The amount of exposure that one can get is diverse and infinite.

No other industry spends a lot of money on parties, employee motivation, employee education and employee welfare. This is the only industry which offers incentives apart from the Sales and Marketting industry. For today’s youngsters, the call centers are a welcome addiction. The industry has woven such magic around the entire nation that these days a city without a call centre would be hard to find. Call centers contribute a fair share to the revenue of the Indian BPO industry. Atleast 50% of the employees in the major Indian BPO’s are women, both married and unmarried, so this makes the industry highly competetive too. This clearly shows that women are comfortable working out here and proves that it is a safe place to work too.
The middle class Indian who contributes to 40% of total population has undergone a drastic attitudinal changes towards life has undergone a drastic change in the last few years. Everybody here wants to live “life king size”. This demands for luxury and need for high-income spending groups coupled with a thoroughly cosmopolitan outlook life. BPO’s are a major turn on for young graduates. In addition to providing employment, as said above the industry offer excellent benefits, good working environment and attractive remuneration packages. So who wouldn’t choose to be a call centre employee?
Though this industry’s major work is carried out in the dark of the night, this booming Indian Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) industry is called a 'sunshine' sector and would continue to be one whether people’s wrong perception changes or not! There is too much at stake here and there is no place for wrong notions!

Happy to be part of this Great BPO space

Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Master Financial Independence For Married Women : 'Kyunki Paisa Boltha Hain!'



'Aaj Tak' News Channel is so much fun to watch on days when your life reaches heights of monotony and you feel like taking a chill pill by laughing your heart out .There was a breaking news I had come across on 'Aaj Tak ' on one such day that a man had filed a divorce petition for the reason that his wife was not efficient in doing the daily household chores like washing & ironing clothes,cleaning utensils,cleaning the house and you know the list will go on ... For a while I did definitely giggle at this crap but later unintentionally it made me wonder if women after marriage is really evaluated on only such metrics and perhaps this forces every women to crave for their independent stand in life which is not just based on such mundane , no brainer works but also has a substantial worth?

The power of a women is determined by the bundle of confidence she carries ,her positive attitude and approach, her maturity level to handle the most simplest to complicated matters with ease,her emotional maturity to adjust and live up to any situation, her belief in she being able to reach the sky on her own,her trust that she can change the world and rule it etc.

So if I were to put forth it upright – Power Of A Women is Based On Her Financial Independence.If financial independence is there , every other thing will automatically follow and this statement perhaps might go contradictory to my previous blog titled :'Independent Married Women – What Confusion' (http://priyaraveesh.blogspot.nl/2010/12/independent-married-woman-what.html)

However oflate, based on both active and passive experiences, I too somewhere strongly agree with all the married women fraternity that financial independence is the ruling factor or the ultimate rater for being considered independent and successful.

But why is financial independence so very important in a married life when you really got what you had dreamt of – Your Prince charming, White dress, joint accounts etc. Expert say its perfectly fine to create space for your own unaccountable and separate financial status since it brings with it a lot happiness, peace of mind and harmony in a married life and therefore in majority of the cases , the success of marriage solely depended on the sound financial independence of the both the partners.

Financial Independence means a lot of things to lots of married women-

1.Your Opinion Counts , You have a Say ,You are Respected and You Get Involved!


"A woman who has some financial independence is free to state her mind, disagree, ask for what she wants, and a woman who doesn't is not”

When you have the financial independence , you become an active and integral part of all the decision making process in all the significant and not so significant matters at home.This gives the women a sense of confidence and involvement in life. Otherwise it's just the passive involvement wherein you are still made aware of all the happenings but just as an information which is totally fair.When you can't contribute ,just wait and watch!! And eventually when the people around you understand the fact that the decision 's made has to have the say of the wife as well, she is considered important and hence there is more of her involvement . So the concept of male chauvinism completely disappears and if we were to take it in the positive sense- Both husband and wife contribute equally to the equation of a happy married life.

2.Establishes Your Future Security & Nurtures Your Positive Approach Towards Life .


Life is very uncertain and therefore looking out for options for safeguarding oneself ,be it a man or a women,for the future and do what one can when one has the opportunity
is absolutely fair.

When a lady Wants to be financially independent , it does not mean that she has no love or regard for her family, it's just that by fulfilling your ambition ,you are able to live a happier and more fulfilled life when there is equality and freedom for both !This again contributes to the equation of a successful and happy married life.


3.EnhancesYour Confidence Level & Cultivates Your Clear Thought Process


"Financial independence is important in a marriage because it can also mean 'independence of thought,'" says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist in Long Beach, California and author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page Books, 2002).

Independence of thought can be directly related to your bundle of confidence level. You have the margin to think on clear term when you know that you can back up your decision incase it doesn't go in your favor.And therefore financial independence aids in your risk taking ability as in life everything cannot be planned the way you want and to move ahead in life, one needs to take those calculative risks and sometimes major risks.

4.Boosts your Self Esteem ,Pampers Your Self Ego and Satisfy Your Own Priorities.


Self Esteem is taking pride in yourself and Ego is a person's sense of self esteem or in other words self worth.

So if we were to take the term positively ,I would not be wrong if I were to say ,every one of us is egoistic. This factor is increasingly getting highlighted in our generation and this perhaps might be due to a lot many reasons – the long tail of never ending series of degrees against one's name , the high self esteem which brings with it the confidence and belief that sky is not the limit,the considerably rich lifestyle compared to our previous generation and this might go on ...

So to boost up their self esteem and pamper their self ego, a sound financial independence helps the women take a chill pill by not being accountable for every penny they spend unlike our parents where they used to pen down each day expenditure in a notebook .There used to be tensions all over if the domestic balance sheet had even a rupee mismatch.
Even the present day women aims at spending each penny on their family ,for their children but doesn't feel great being accountable.

Convincing people for their simple needs and taking the big 'NO' seems to be the biggest reason affecting one's self ego.This perpetuates more in the case of a husband- wife relationship. The Prince Charming might do his level best trying to satisfy his wife's needs but still the charm of spending your own earned money on things you desire and wish is absolutely out of the world.

Its still agreeable with a women that her husband doesn't mind spending for her ,on things which might rate highest on her priority list but not even feature in the husband's list.
But desires are not always for self. Every women in this world feels immensely happy by being able to buy those little things for her parents and siblings.Not that her parents and siblings would need it or cannot afford one, its just the gesture of being thankful to them for all that they have done which really lifts up the women's spirit.And even though the husband fraternity do really acknowledge this fact and do not mind the same but still this does not go too well. This might be due to two reasons: a) This being extra spending may come under the accountable expense b) The parents of the girl may not want to accept even a penny worth gift due to our so called cultural convictions that husband's earning is only for his parents and more than the husband ,his parents might somewhere make a statement that its all their son's money which is everywhere!Poor our son..Ah..::)

Such instances may go on .....


5.Polishes Your KI ,Matures Up Your EI and Manage Your Relationship Equations.


Elimination of factors which might disrupt the harmony and peace in a married life leads to loads of time to concentrate on relations .The everyday TU Tu Main Main revolving around ' Your Family ' Vs “ My Family' vanishes and this leads to some happy time with all.
Financial independence broadens up your conservative approach and helps you look at life at large.It takes you away from bothering about small things in life and enhances your knowledge by increasing your general awareness about whats going on around the world rather than just your family as a result of you meeting a number of people each day and the n number of conversation you have with them .


With so many good things coming along with a women's sound financial independence ,why would one want to negotiate?Having a separate bank account ,with account balance nobody knows except for you ,that swiping of the ATM card which carries just your name,the leeway to spend the way you would want , is feel which is better felt than expressed. If this is there , its happiness all the way.::)

Reference:
http://www.lhj.com/relationships/marriage/challenges/financially-independent-and-married/

Friday, June 8, 2012

Paa...Tujhe Salaam


                                                                                                
If someone asks me ,how would you define God – I would perhaps say – Loving,simple,forgiving,wise,humble ...and it might go on and on ...

If someone asks me ,what does God mean to you ,I would say -”My dad”.

One might perhaps think whats different about this !
Almost every girl on this planet by all probabilities would feel the same.

However I would still stand right upon my statement even if I were to look at my dad as a separate entity . I would just call myself blessed and fortunate enough for having a lifetime opportunity of being associated with this fantastic person and having the privilege of addressing him as my dad ..

Though I had and still do argue with him on a many a things and try to convince him saying all these practical fundas are not applicable to this present world and to be successful ,one needs to be really smart otherwise you get doomed. But apparently if success was the ultimate rater, then this person is equally successful.

Here are those compelling reasons which made me to make such a strong statement . One might think, why didnt this blog come earlier ? To this ,all I can say is – Maturity comes only with age and experience ,and all the more,when you become a mommy because this is the time ,you go back onto your memory lane and recollect what your parents have taught you so that you can impart the same to your little one as in the hearts of heart you always agree they were and are still right in every way!

1.Simple living and high thinking.

This is easier said than done . During school days, when I was asked to write an essay on Mahatma Gandhi, I used to use this phrase very often least realizing its significance.But today when I look back,I literally can relate this phrase to my dad.
  • Be it the best of parties or the simplest of religious ritual, he believes in being dressed sober.He doesn't relish the idea of branded wears and lavish spending because its his belief that clothes don't make a man, it's his virtues which do so.

  • Still believes in walking wherever & whenever possible or use the public transport curtailing on use of personal vehicle.Even today he travels in a second class train irrespective of the length of the journey.He strongly stood by his point of not buying a car until there is a valid reason and need to it,not bending down to the peer pressure or society stand,despite his respectable position both at professional and social front.
  • Despite of all the luxuries in the world , he doesn't believe in show off's. He believes in relations based on genuine emotions and thought process match,and not because of the expensive attires or accessories he possesses or gifts others.

  • Doesn't believe in boasting off his credentials ,though to me ,he remains one of the few very intelligent ,intellectual and knowledgable people I have come across in my life so far.

2.To err is human, to forgive is divine.

This quality of his, has always surprised me .How can someone always think good about everybody on everything and that too every time?Should I call it – Heights of Goodness!

I too, believe in being good to people who are nice to me but also retaliate when my goodness is manipulated.I believe this is every human's normal tendency .

To this all he has to say is -

  • -“Good and bad is all perception..Something you think is bad might be good from other's perspective.Nobody on this earth is good or bad .Its only situation which makes them to be one”.
  • -”Never think bad. Always be positiveLife is too short and very uncertain to pursue the blame game and keep fighting”..

3.Mr.Cool and Dependable

Violating the copyrights on the titles already been assigned to Mr.Dhoni and Mr.Dravid respectively, I choose to snatch them and confer it to my dad as its really worth the effort.

Mr.Cool: Be it the worst of situations or the best of times, his emotions are always composed and he seems unperturbed.Happiness doesn't excite him much neither does pain destroy him. He remains the same.

Mr.Dependable: A word is a word and a promise is it...

4.Cultured,Principled and Highly Disciplined

There is a famous line by Mr.Bacchan in the all time hit movie 'Mohabattein".

He refers to three important virtues to be always followed in life-
  • Parampara(Tradition and culture),
  • Prathishta
  • Anushaasan(Discipline)

My sister and I ,have laughed our heart out,making fun of our dad, when he used to advise us on such idealistic values. However today when I take the role of a mother ,I feel somewhere this is all right.

  • Believes in his religion and also respects others.He defines religion as a means of cultivating values of being good to all by not discriminating anyone and giving due respect to everybody.
  • Extremely soft spoken and never has he, in his entire lifetime till now, illtreated and hurt anybody by trying to boss over them or shout at them at high
    decibels
  • Very soft hearted and generous- Always ready to help the people who really are in need even though he might not be in the best of financial stand.He always says- 'Money will come and go but relations once strained can never be repaired'.

5.Contentment is the key to happiness

I had once asked him this question -'If God were to ask you to make a wish , what would it be ?' And he hardly took less than a second to answer it –' I would ask God to bless everybody with sound health and prosperity because if good health is there , everything is possible and I do not believe in any materialistic desires as those are all short-lived .'


6.Humble & Innocent

-Believes people by their word value least bothering about the fact that the conversation could have been sarcastic and satorial, meant to hurt him or might have had wrong intentions.He always says-"I will think and do good always.If someone wants to,I do not have the rights to punish him".


7.Honesty is the best policy

In today's world where honesty is synonym to being foolish ,I am amazed as to how he is able to always pull of this policy.

  • Doesn't believe in flattering people and getting things done.
  • Commitment to the core and if he takes up a task/duty ,he ensures its done with extreme dedication and sincerity topped with a lot of love ,passion and perfection .There's no room for superficiality or artificiality and moreover there is zero percent expectation in return .He often says- "Do your karma and never expect for the results"


8.Very Fair & Unbiased

Believes in appreciating what he genuinely thinks is good and incase its otherwise,he opts to stay neutral .And his judgement doesn't change with age,power or position of the person concerned.


9.Sathyameva Jayathe

Yes ,for this person ,truth only prevails.It would not be wrong if I were to register the fact in the Guinness Book Of Records that never has he lied in his entire lifetime so far.At the same time, expects the other person as well to be the same to him.

Mr.Aamir Khan , here is a person whom you really would want the world to know...!!

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This blog might go endless and could go onto become a biography as there is so I keep admiring about my dad.

Its often said - "God could not be everywhere so he created mothers" I surely do not deny this but at the same time would also say- God sent my dad on earth in his form to spread a lot of goodness and love and help make this world a better place to be in ... I am sure after reading this blog, you would also second me in my opinion - 'My dad means God to me'.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Men are from heaven and Women is from... hell probably?


There was a facebook post very recently which said - “There are only 842 girls left for every 1000 boys ,so lets save girls .. We can save tigers later”!

At first ,like everybody I did smile reading it ,but then later when I thought about it ,I felt this for sure is not funny and had a blatant message in it.With regards to the same , I would like to cite few 'husband-wife' conversations (verbatim might not have been the same though)which I had come across over the past few months during our visit to few of our friend's place after coming over to Netherlands and to which I was completely speechless.
First Conversation:

Wife: Wouldn't it be a great idea to call my parents to our house in this new country as they can afford a 15 days off and spend time with us ,also go around the new place as they have never been on an international trip?

Husband: Oh absolutely! But not until my parents visit our house first as they might feel bad that the girl's parents have come first wherein it is their right to be here first ...

Wife:Who created this rule ? I am also the only daughter to my parents ?And they have bought me up the same way as would have your parents.So whats wrong in they coming over first ?Now that we are life partners , we have equal right as far as this house is concerned. We would have your parents come over as well ..

Husband: I completely understand but this is what our customs , traditions and values are!End of the day , girls are girls and boys are boys...

Second Conversation:

Husband: Hey , we need to take care of my parents and have them in our house in their old age as they cannot be with their daughters.

Wife: Yeah , we would take care of them well .Don't worry.We need to take care of my parents as well as I am the only daughter and they have nobody else to take care of them .

Husband: Sure, we would,financially, emotionally etc ! But they cannot stay in our house when my parents are here..It is not right! Its the duty of boys to take care of their parents .

Wife: Oh why isn't it vice versa? Who created this rule? Where will my parents go?They have bought me up the same way as your parents would have, then why this difference?

Husband: You are right ! This is what our customs , traditions and values say!End of the day , girls are girls and boys are boys...



Apparently the people involved in this conversation are supposedly the most educated, highly paid and belong to the most elite strata of our society. True! Perhaps,they are only educated and not literate, they are surely the elite class of people by mind but not by heart.When the thought process of this class of people can be such,no wonder why female infanticide is on an alarming increase.

I often used to think how can a mother kill her baby but listening to few conversations like the above mentioned ones, I feel its somewhere fair. All mothers think in the best interest of her child and she probably feels, its better to kill the girl inside the womb or probably during the early stages rather than she dying each moment in her life

Its just not the dowry or our lavish marriages that horrifies the parents when a girl is born but such male chauvinistic approach which makes girl getting born a curse. When such things can exist at the well to do class of people , its absolutely believable that it would exist in the lower, illiterate and poor strata of the society.

This male chauvinistic approach has its roots in the vedas of our mythology for two reasons:

a: Vansh Vriddi- Only when a son is born , can the family grow .There was news flashing recently congratulating 'The Bachchan Family', on being blessed with a baby girl which was really nice. But parallely there was also a news wherein at Allahabad,in addition to blessing the new born with sound health and prosperity,people were performing pooja to pray and ensure that the next child born in the Bachchan family is definitely a boy so that the family name is sustained.

b.Right to do Karma -Life of a man is accepted to be completed successfully only when a son is born since only he has the rights to do 'karma'-last rituals after death and only after which the soul is believed to rest in peace.

Interestingly I came to know about these so precisely during my 'Godh Bharai' ceremony when we insisted the pandit reciting the vedas to replace the mantra with 'Putri'(girl) instead of Putr(boy) as we already knew during the scan at Singapore that its going to be girl baby for us.To this ,the pandit replied firmly that the vedas cannot be changed the way we want. Though you know its a girl baby ,we would still retain it the way it is so that atleast the next baby born to you both is a boy since Godh Bharai is done for the first issue only.

Its said that women is a gift of God and that she teaches the world what caring , sharing and loving is all about but then same gift of God is considered to be an asset but definitely not an important one in the family.

-Its definitely not a cake walk for a young girl getting married leaving her family,her home ,good old memories ,that unconditional love and comfort and getting adapted to the new family, new home , new culture .
But she does it happily!
-Its not easy for the newly wed daughter-in-law to create the right balance by giving due importance to all in the new family and treating them as their own right from day 1 in the house .
But she manages it beautifully!
-Its so much difficult for a mother to undergo the pain of delivering a baby and then bringing him/her up at the cost of spoiling her health,carrier etc.
But she does it passionately!
-It is so tensing for a mother to see her princess,whom she had bought up with all the possible luxuries in the world getting married and wishing she is treated the same way, infact one percent more if possible, and that she happily settles down.
But she does this gracefully !
-It is so much disturbing for the newly wed daughter-in-law to digest the rule that after marriage all the money she earns should only be for the new family and that she henceforth cannot help her family back home, financially ,physically or emotionally as this might create differences and disturb the harmony in her new family but the same rule doesn't hold good for the boy, as for him ,its termed as his 'responsibility'.Even though the parents of the girl would have put in the same amount of money and passion to educate their daughter,it doesn't matter .
But she accepts this as well , though with a heavy heart !
-Its so much annoying for the mother of a girl,to come in terms with the fact that she does not have any right over her daughter after marriage as compared to the mother of a boy ,who reiterates the fact now and then , that she is supreme and that there is every right for the wife over her son's life,love ,decisions, finance, home but mind it, only after her!
She(daughter-in-law) respects this as well!

Now the last point opens up yet another topic for discussion which has been hovering over ages about the tension involved in 'Saas Vs Bahu' equation ( Mother- in- law Vs Daughter- in -law) .The reason to some extent is that the expectation has not been set right since the beginning.Similar to the parents of the girl who have their expectation set and have this imbibed in their mind since Day 1, that once their girl is married, they need to take a backstage and let her go ,not because of the age old belief that the girl never belongs to them,but due to the fact that only then she will have the confidence and room to take up her new life, get her equation of love and trust with the new man in her life correct so she is comfortable enough to share all the joys and sorrows with him, take passionate ressponsibility of her children so that she could bring them up in the best possible manner by imbibing the right culture in them and end of it all , lead a peaceful and happy life!And parents of a girl are happy seeing their princess lead a happy life.In the same way,the parents of a boy also should set their expectation right as by not doing this they are ruining their son's peace of mind by making him struggle creating the right balance between mother and his wife which eventually leads to a tussle in his personal family life. Its sometimes nice to give it away.

So to all the lovely Mother -in -laws (kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!)

Its so expected of you to create that perfect space and comfort for the daughter in law since you have been through all the stages of womenhood yourself.Parents are always supreme ,their position cannot be taken by anybody and the more you let it go , the love between you and your son is going to increase leaps and bounds .The more you get closer to your daughter in law and give her the comfort to treat you like her mother, the better the family equation is going to be...Take that from me ! So please do not get into the 'competition mode ' and become insecure and jealous that your son's wife is leading a better life than you did at the cost of your sacrifice and effort to educate your son! Every generation will have better things coming their way.

To all the loving husbands

Its always a welcome for a girl if just not her , even her parents and family is treated and taken care well by you . A women is an epitome of sacrifice and happiness. If you give her 100% , she will ensure that she returns it to you with a percent more . Lets take the best from our culture and traditions. They are meant to bring happiness in the family but if the same is hurting somebody and bringing sorrow,then they are not even worth considering.

With regards to this ,I would like to quote few lines from Mr.Vikram Karve's(a creative creative person with a zest for life, is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer) blog on Customs,traditions and rituals.
http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2011/11/customs-traditions-and-rituals.html
He begins it beautifully by mentioning-
In the name of tradition, we unquestioningly perform so many customs and rituals without understanding the spirit behind the ritual.
ritual is an action performed purely for symbolic value.
In many cases there is no logic or rational explanation for the ritual.” 

Well this entire blog is based on the examples I have come across and which I feel forms the majority. But their definitely is an exception layer and I would really want to thank God that I belong to this layer . I sincerely wish and hope , being a mother of a girl baby , that all the girls in this world fall into this layer and help make it 100%,only then will this world become a happy and better place to live in !Probably only then we will be able to think about saving Tigers::)  

Thursday, November 3, 2011

“Moong Dal “ From Moni's Kitchen


                                      Moong Dal “ From Moni's Kitchen

My blog this time is to do with cooking , a recipe which to my surprise was made within minutes!We had dropped into our friend's house last evening to greet them for Diwali.Though this was a very unplanned visit but eventually turned out to be one of the most loveliest and simplest dinner ever.Trust me ,even a planned dinner could not have been better!

Like Tarla Dalal's recipe, I would name it the “Recipe From Moni's Kitchen”. Yes that's name of my friend who made this dal and let me tell you she cooks amazingly delicious ,mouthwatering , quick and easy to make dishes.

I am not sure how many of you would know about this simple recipe but this was definitely new to me , so I thought I would share this with all those people who relish eating dal everyday but somehow avoid making it, thinking about all hassle of cutting onions and tomatoes!

Ingredients needed:

2 cup ghee roasted Moong dal
4 vertically slitted green chilly
1/2 cup grated coconut
1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder
Finely chopped ginger
Salt to taste

For garnishing:

3 teaspoon oil
1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 /2 teaspoon mustard seeds
1/4 teaspoon fennel seeds
2-3 dry red chilly
2 teaspoon Jeera powder dissolved in water
1 teaspoon ghee
1/2 cup chopped coriander leaves.
2-3 Bay Leaf

Procedure:

1.Pressure cook the roasted Moong Dal until it becomes soft.
2.When cooked , add 3 cups of hot boiling water to it.
3.To this mixture , add grated coconut , turmeric powder , green chilly,finely chopped ginger,salt and bring to boil for 5 minutes.
4.In another pan , add oil .When the oil becomes hot,add the red chilly and wait until it changes its color to slight black. Then add , cumin seeds , mustard seeds, fennel seeds,bayleaf and cumin powder dissolved in water to it.
5.Pour this into the Moong Dal mixture and cook it for 5 minutes .
7.Add ghee to the Dal and let it boil for another 5 minutes.
8.Finally add the chopped coriander leaves.

You can serve this Dal with parathas or rice ,

I am sure this is just a beginning of lot more to come and I would share many of her recipes(with her permission , ofcourse )with all of you so that life gets much easier and delicious ,as far as cooking is concerned. This as well serves the purpose of my blog-Keeps It Simple and Smart!

Monday, May 23, 2011

10 Ways To Entertain and Get Entertained Rather trying to just get Entertained!



Ever since I have attained motherhood , I have been wondering as to why most of the babies cry when they see a new face for the first time or the same face every-time. Though by heart I knew the reason , but never was able to explicitly convince anybody.

My daughter who is 5 months old now , demands a lot of comfort and wants to be treated like big people. She hates to be picked up by people and this especially becomes an issue when people come to see her for the first time.One example where I realized that she wants to be independent , by her own is when I made her to stand up on her own legs for a few minutes and trust me , the happiness on her face & the pride in her eyes made me to literally understand the significance of the phrase 'Standing up on your own legs'.

She is at her best when you play with her the way she wants to -make funny faces, sing to her nursery rhymes (Eeiya Eeiya O is her favourite one),talk to her non stop like you talk to your friends,narrate her as to how your day went etc and trust me, you will have a ball of a time but then if it's not that ways ,then you are in for some major upset.

Last evening was a time when my realization cap got switched on and I was able to coin the term – "Entertain & Get Entertained Rather trying to just get entertained!"

1.Do Not Act Selfish: Each baby has its own play pattern.Try innovative ways of playing with the baby and making them enjoy.But if the baby does not like it ,its generally up to an individual to quickly get acclimatized to how they behave. If for the first time , the baby feels a slight discomfort , its a wise idea to try couple of other things that would please them and in this way enjoy your time. If they still resist , I would suggest one should check with their parents /caretaker as to what that baby's playing pattern is , (as they are the people who spend all their time with the baby )and according try getting into that rhythm. Even then if the baby is unsettled, I would say -Better Luck next time. Its simply not your day.But most of the people I have seen so far , do not want to make an effort to understand the baby's play pattern.They persuade the baby to play with them the way they would like it ,even when the baby does not relish the same.I

2.Planned & Short Duration Visits:Its always better to check with the parents as to what might possibly be a good time to visit the baby and spend some good time playing with him/her. Unplanned visits cause a great discomfort to not only the baby but also to us.However planned the trip is, one should try to keep it as short and sweet as possible.Now that we are mostly influenced by Western culture, why not getting into the practice of this as well not only incase of a baby but evenotherwise.


3.Room for privacy:If the baby still seems unsettled and the caregiver feels the baby needs to be fed,its always a decent move to step out of the room for sometime as for most of the baby's seeing people around is a great distraction .Also this move might make our visit much enjoyable.

4. Have Patience:Allow the baby to spend some time to observe you and get used to your face rather than just jumping onto them as expecting them to start smiling and playing with you from day 1,the moment you enter the house, is not fair.

5.Lower Decibel Levels:Do not try to make too much noise when you are near the baby as loud noise tends to irritate the baby.Keep your voice as calm as possible ad avoid too many people talking at the same time.

6. Mind your kids: Small children always see babies like a toy . They might persuade you to keep the baby in their lap for few minutes. Do not try to entertain your kid at somebody else's baby cost.Do not allow the kids to get very close to the baby Never allow this as accidents do not happen with prior information .

7. Clean and Clear:Always use a sanitizer before going close to the baby. Incase you have any infection/fever/cold , please do not force yourself near the baby.

8.No eatables inside:Always refrain from eating or drinking when the baby is near you.

9.Mind Your Hands:Do not feed the baby anything by yourself even if our customs and tradition force you to. For e.g. When one sees the baby for the first time, it is customary to give sugar to the baby .Never use your hands to put anything in to their mouth directly ,as this action is highly prone to infection. Check with the baby's parents as to how they want to do it , if it all it is necessary and incase if they resist , it would not be unfair not to thrust the same on them.

10. Mind Yourself and Treat Babies Like Human Beings: Babies are adorable. Everybody wants to cuddle the baby and forever keep them in our lap. But then excess of everything is bad and so it is advisable to keep it simple and smart. Each individual has a unique way of lifting the baby which might cause discomfort to them. Put them on the bed /floor and play with them.

This blog of mine might seem like a babycentre.com to most of us but then my intention was to list a few things that I am currently experiencing ,for those people for whom baby handling has been quite sometime in the past and who knows after few years this might come handy to me as well.

And yes, when it comes to baby handling, there might another dozen of things one can add on.You may try a lot of permutations and combination to this list .Whatever it is , please always keep this mantra handy- "Entertain & Get Entertained Rather trying to just get Entertained" and trust me by this you will mutually get benefitted!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

A day in the life of India - Not a pleasant morning (03-02-11)

This appeared in the front page of the Times of India Edition on February 3rd , 2011 - " A day in the life of India"- Bizzarre .Overloaded.Technicolor.Chaotic.Golmaal.Jugaad.Chaltha hai-You would run out of India before you but you could run out of words!

Though we need to face the harsh reality but as an Indian ,this article early in the morning on the front page is not at all a pleasant beginning to a good morning. India is known to have the largest democracy in the world where we have the power to choose and change the government at our will yet we are not the best . This forces me to think -' Is too much democracy not correct?'

Also how do other countries manage themselves so well?I have been living in Singapore since past few months and seeing the way how this place functions, I sometimes feel so guilty as to why India should not be as wonderful as this place,with so many efficient brains present here? Every time I ask this question , the standard response I receive from all ,within a wink of an eye is that India is a very big country with large population .Its a cakewalk maintaining a small country with a small population base like Singapore! And whenever I hear this, I beg to differ on this....Excuse me !Its definitely not a cakewalk!! Why can't we look at this with a slightly different approach- Smaller country means lesser fund inflow as compared to a big country like India. So if we think logically its all the same at the end of the day... So when they can, why can't we?

Is the intent to make India the best place to live in , not there amongst us?Or do we don't know the definition of 'best'.India got its independence in 1947 as compared to Singapore which got its independence in 1965 and since then there has been no stopping for them!

This blog is definitely not to demean India and praise other international countries!Since I have not stayed in any other international country other than Singapore, all I can wish and want is that why shouldn't we adopt their ways and means of running the country so that ours is also as beautiful and processed as their's.

 The way these countries make things look so simple that any Indian , howsoever proud he is to be an Indian,he will always want to lead a quality and simplified life like Singapore and just keep wondering without a clue as to why India should not be as lovely as them with all the resources in abundance.

Few of my memorable experiences-

Airport Facilities:

- When I entered Singapore , the first thing extremely admirable was the airport ofcourse and then the speed at which the immigration check is done within seconds and the baggages ready to be picked within microseconds! And while I was doing all this, the best part was that I could see my husband waving his hand at me .He could see me from the point of immigration till exit..WOW!

-Similarly when I was coming back to India , all my loved ones could see and wave goodbye to me beyond the immigration point as well which made me wonder if they could see me off till the boarding point .This was so encouraging for sure.

Transport Facilities 

-I cannot find a word better than 'fantabulous' if such a word could exist in our dictionary. I would love to travel in the MRT and buses,all through the day rather than being at home as the seats and the air conditioning is unimaginably comfortable . The travel card called the ezlink card that they provide acts like a debit card;wherein you need to charge currency and it will automatically charge the travel fare once you swipe in at the start of the travel and swipe out at your destination which you cannot afford to pretend and forget as you are charged for the longest fare at the beginning itself! Trust me you are strictly monitored for a swipe in ,the moment you enter .This saves one from the long queue and frustration.And most importantly,one need not stand and argue with the auto rickshaw guys on the fare amount.All the cabs have a tested meter ,which works without cheating the customer.

Sewage and Wastage Disposal

It rains almost everyday and the moment rain stops, within minutes you would not have trace of water anywhere.Its clean and green as ever.

The first few days at my house in Singapore was funny. As ever , I thought waste disposal needs to be kept outside home for somebody to pick it up and throw it off in the big bin which would be kept in some corner in India. One day I forgot to throw the waste off and this came in for high criticism in my housing society. On finding out the reason , I was told that there is a pit beneath the sink in the kitchen from where if the waste things are thrown , it will automatically go into the big bin downstairs. This was an amazing piece of learning and how I wished if the same could be replicated in all the apartments in India.


Imparting good values and manner 

Three values commonly tried to impart via posters ,banners etc-

a.Stand in a Queue and allow the people getting down from the bus/train to come out first.
b.Be gracious enough to give your seat to the old people,pregnant women and people carrying small babies.
c.Learn to pass a warm smile to all you get eye to eye with and say hello.(Trust me, you would not have too many people looking at you even if you are crazily dressed.They wouldn't mind looking at the walls while they walk but would not want to look at you )

Preventing fraud and crime

Each person is tracked there with a unique FIN number which is provided immediately you enter the country .All the transactions ,activities etc is tracked by this number. I was told by one of my friend that her husband was not allowed to leave the country as he had 4$ due for the library books .India was assured that all transaction will be tracked via social security number by 2011!.Are you listening Mr.Nilkeni?

It seems that with a population base of about 5,076,7000 by end of 2010 as mentioned by the Times Series , the number of pending cases is just a two digit number and no case is pending in the court for more than a month! 

Also nobody dares to commit a crime there as the punishment seems to be atrociously strict.Its a place where you are not monitored explicitly.Do whatever you want till it is right and if you tend to commit a mistake even mistakenly, you will be caught! For example,people don't  throw a piece of paper even by mistake down outside as they prefer to put it in their pockets and dispose it off in the dustbin. You cannot see anybody eating or drinking in the MRT's as it is punishable.

Depending on the intensity of the mistake, the punishment ranges from a minimum of $300 to maximum harshest extent, which I have understood from the local people , that the punishment cannot get cruel than this!

No wonder the place is extensively clean!

Clean and Green

The stringent punishments and strict rules has cultivated good habits in the hearts and minds of all.And when you go to that place even as a tourist, you will be forced to be clean and keep the place around you clean.Trust me, when you come back to India after a short span of stay there, you will spend most of your time cleaning the house as the slightest of dirt will irritate you.

I have always wondered as to why people say its nice to have a bright sunny morning.Ah....you will realize soon once you there ,that bright sunny morning without any pollution and fresh air is a real welcome .It definitely makes your day.

The trees are planted evenly in a planned manner and I was told that all the trees and plants are insured by the Government .You cannot afford to pluck a flower until and unless you want to get into the 'mistake' category as mentioned above.

Amenities

The electricity supply has not even tripped for a microsecond since last 25 years ! HUH.... Yes this is so true. The internet speed is faster than lightening,Trust me...

I was visiting a gynecologist after taking prior appointment at 9 AM in the morning. I reached the place in time and I was asked to meet the doctor at 9:05  AM .When I was heading in ,the receptionist apologized to me .I was taken aback .I asked her the reason for apology and she said-"Sorry mam,we wasted your 5 minutes" ! Trust me ,after this incident , I for the first time ,understood the importance of time and the need to be punctual.

 With their exemplary method of running the country, not only Singapore is the 2nd richest county in Asia as compared to India which stands No.19 but also they cultivate those good values in everyone.

I wish and I am sure , with all of us experiencing such facilities and the want to live a luxurious lifestyle ,will make each of us put in ,our own effort and make India the best place to live in !